knit and tonic

The Knitting Won't Let you Down (Unless you Allow it)

Today we were sitting there eating lunch discussing the fact that everything around us is falling apart. Honestly, it really is. So, HWWV says, I've been noticing that we have fewer and fewer glasses in the cupboard. And I say that they've been cracking and I have been throwing them away one by one. And then he says that he looks in the cupboard and then checks the dishwasher thinking that it must be needing to be emptied, but it doesn't. And then I say, same here.

And then he says, "I guess that means we will have to start drinking straight out of the bottle."

Amen.

But, the knitting, it usually doesn't let me down. The good thing about knitting is that, if it breaks, you can rip and re-knit. Shoot, there are people who routinely find second-hand sweaters and re-purpose the yarn by ripping the sweater, laundering the yarn, and re-knitting it into some other item.

I never understood people who lament, oh, my sweater is ruined! It doesn't fit! I made a mistake!

Friends, let's be real. It is knitting. It won't let you down unless YOU let IT down.

Amen.

P.S. My hat turned out fine.

Peace out.

(And another BTW: There's a giveaway at Stitch Diva for a copy of my book, Custom Knits 2, plus a discounted yarn kit for the Blithe Tee which appears in the book. Also watch for a podcast with my buddy Marly. It happens on Tuesday at 9:00 a.m. Listen to it live--before she has to edit out my bloopers!)

Check!

Dishwasher threatening to die? Check!

Cracked bedroom window? Check!

Completely broken bathroom window held in the jam with duct tape? Check!

Spilt nail polish on white carpet that I can't clean up? Check!

Broken radiator and transmission threatening on HWWV's car? Check!

Refrigerator on the semi-blink since two years ago? Check!

Coffee maker on the fritz? Check!

Leaking something or other and the engine light on in my car? Check!

Have to jiggle the television in the studio to get it to turn on? Check!

A just-knit cap whose crown may or may not "improve" with blocking? Check!

(Photo sideways? Check!)

EDITED TO ADD: Forgot to tell you about the garage door. It's broken.

Inserting Foot into Mouth and TNNA

This past weekend I swooped into TNNA in Phoenix. By "swoop" I mean that I flew in on Saturday morning and flew out that same evening. I had a book signing for Custom Knits 2 so I had to be there.

After booking my flight I realized I would have to get up at 3:30 a.m. in order to be at the airport in time for my flight. Knowing that this is totally not my bag, and it would create all kinds of crazy town fatigue for me, I got a hotel room across the street from the airport to save time.

HWWV* and Girlfriend drove me to the hotel and while we were pulling up we noticed crowds of people loitering around the outside. We looked at each other with a knowing look. "Geez. I hope there isn't a convention," I said, worried that I'd get stuck in a hallway with a bunch of rowdy folks wearing hooded sweatshirts. And wouldn't you know, the lobby was full of them too. Crowds of folks wearing sweatshirts, oversized coats (it was 65 degrees), you know, your general casual fare, but there was something about the crowd that made be go: O_o

When I checked in, I said to the clerk, "Please don't tell me there's a convention..."

"Yes mam, there is. They have it here every year."

"Oh great," I said. "Is there any chance you can put me in a wing far, far away from the crowds? I have to get up early."

"Yes, of course. I'll put you well away from the convention attendees. They're mostly in this wing."

"Oh, I'm so happy you can do that. Thanks. What kind of convention is it?"

"Narcotics Anonymous."

("Oh, sorry; if you can't get me a room far away, I'm sure everything will be okay.")

*I know I haven't mentioned him in awhile. For newer readers, it means "He Who Wears Versace," but for the sake of our current economic condition, let's just call him "He Who Wore Versace."

Owls

It's Owls by Kate Davies.

I know, I'm probably the last person in the entire knitter community to finally knit one, but it took me only three glorious days of knitting (hardly knitting, that is. This thing was fast). And better than the just three days it took, it used just one skein of yarn to boot. Take a look at the before and after. The before, or light color in my right hand, is a brand-new skein of the Cascade Ecological Wool all caked up, which is a wonderful value for your money. The one in my left hand is what I have left over from the sweater I knit.

I decided to place just one pair of button eyes on the owls because, first of all, the local store that sells buttons is such a buzz kill that after I leave I want to find a padded room, and second, I prefer to make things with minimal finishing so attaching two buttons is about all I can endure.

The only thing I would do differently on this sweater is knit it from the top down (I think there are notes online about how to do it) because that little bit of yarn that is left over would have given me an extra inch in length for the Body and I would have been able to knit top down until I nearly ran out of yarn. But, that's okay. I like it anyway, and I actually wore it the day before yesterday for practically the whole day. That's a feat for me in of itself.

As far as modifications go, I knit the second size (33" chest) and instead of knitting long sleeves, I cast on 40 stitches and knit 10 rows of ribbing and then increased to 44 stitches among 16 rows. After that, I just followed the directions for the rest of the sweater and adjusted my stitch count on the first couple of the Body rounds so that it matched the pattern on my size. Voila.

In other news: Loretta just pooped under Girlfriend's bed.

Your Mission: To Name That Sweater in, THREE DAYS! (Name that Sweater.)

I just knit a sweater in three days. Not a full three days. Just a couple hours one day, and then the next and then the next. To do this, it helps if you're knitting in a light aran weight like I did--or maybe a chunky (except that chunky is what chunky does or is it the other way around?)--the Cascade Eco +, and make it a really short sleeved version of the real version because, frankly, we're feeling like we might not see the south side of 75 degrees any time soon in these parts. Truth be told, I doubt I'll even be able to wear my version for more than seven seconds without dying of some sort of wool-induced heat death.

But I knit it in three days, and that is a big plus.

I mean, who knits a sweater in three days? I knit a sweater in three days! Three days of heaven. No one intrerrupted me. I made only sixteen mistakes and hid them so well! The pattern was a delight. I don't think I will add buttons for eyes for every owl because truly, and truthfully, I don't think I could find 34 buttons at Jo-ann's that all match in the same size, but I knit the sucker in three days! (Not to mention, the Jo-Ann's in my area is such a buzz kill that you had better bring some sort of bag of booze or bottle of pills or perhaps a fresh Harikari knife to put you out of your misery whilst in line on double coupon day.)

Maybe I need to smoke that pipe they call "Size 10 Needles" more often.

Not Myself, yet Unwilling to Make an Excuse at the Moment.

I picked up some double point needles to do a quick swatch today and for a second I thought I had forgotten how to cast on.

I chalked it up to using double point needles for a flat swatch instead of my usual circulars which were more than a few steps away.

Then, I tried it again and got it right and knit a few rows. Boy, was I rusty.

And it hit me: I hadn't knit since, oh, maybe the second week in December.

The second week in December? What person who considers themselves a major knitter--no, a Major Knitter--doesn't knit for weeks on end unless:

• They've broken both their hands and haven't yet mastered holding needles and yarn in their toes and teeth
• or, they've fallen off a sixteen-storey building and hit their head really hard, woke up convinced they were Martha Stewart, and would rather re-pot 13,000 vintage chrysanthemums instead
• or, fell and couldn't get up
• or, got stuck in some Chilean coal mine (wait: wasn't that last year's news?)
• or, decided, like one kid I know did, that shearing sheep was akin to abuse and told me so powerfully and with more passion than some evangelicals I know
• or, got hooked on sewing (which, I have NOT)

Or?

A Knitter's Nightmare

We just returned from a little trip. The trip was good. We had snow.

We also had long walks in the snow.

I got to finally, really, wear hand knits (I'm wearing the Monkey Bones Super Slouch...hooray!) and we threw snowballs at each other which, as it turned out, wasn't half bad, especially since I have a better arm than my little sister. Her boots, however, warranted her extra points.

We also visited a really old mining town in Colorado. And on our way there, it was just treacherous. We teased my sister, Dooze, about the Donner party, a bit of history about which she had never heard. We told her that her thigh meat would be mighty tasty should we get stranded.

And, after a drink at an old bar,

I won 22 bucks at the slots in a place called Minnie's in Central City, Colorado.

But the problem was, before we left home, I had carefully packed in anticipation for the trip. After much thought--and you knitters know exactly what I'm talking about--I decided to include an unfinished, but almost finished, pair of socks that I was going to *finally* finish for a dear friend of mine. I put the project bag in my carry-on and blew a sigh of relief when the TSA didn't say a word about my super sharp pair of circular needles. The 32-inch ones.

Truthfully, the trip was perfect, except for one thing.

I forgot to bring the yarn.

Poor Doggie

I think I will stick with designing sweaters for humans.

 

The end.

Yarn Requirements: The Rub

I thought I had a new strategy: Knit the largest size hat I plan on offering, one that I *hope* will only take one skein of dear, dear yarn, and see what happens so that my pattern's yarn requirements are spot on.

See that in my hand? That wad is all I had left when I was done with this sucker. Now I wonder, if I do indeed write up the pattern in this gauge, should I warn those who want to knit the largest size to buy just one skein?  Or, buy two to be safe?

I have a problem.

I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't. The last thing I need is an angry mob waving knitting needles at me.

If I warn that there was *this* much left on my version of the size large using the Madelinetosh Tosh Chunky and they go out and buy just one skein and end up needing another one to finish the size large . . . perish the thought (this isn't cheap yarn--and the dye lots vary quite a bit).

If I say they'll need two skeins, and they end up like me, you know, with just a little teeny tiny wad leftover and they purchased two. Oy. Perish the thought, again.

And if I say that they *might* need another skein and to check the return policy at their yarn source, will they decide to not knit it at all?

I don't need this kind of pressure.

Not needing this kind of pressure is the way I'm rolling these days. Hence, the lack of lots of posting. I am knitting for pleasure, however. Kate Davies came out with this gorgeous over-sized cowl pattern called Funchal Moebius. Since I don't really have the need for a large cowl like this, I decided to cut down on the number of pattern repeats to two. I'm using some of the sometimes controversial yet ever so gorgeous Wollmeise. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to see the patterning with this subtly variegated yarn, but it's actually working out. I highly recommend this pattern. She's a genius.

(The other reason I chose to cut back on the motifs is because, based on her yardage estimates, I wasn't sure I would have enough yarn. Ahhh: That's the rub all the time, isn't it? Having enough yarn.)

 

Slip Two. That is Still all I Want to Do -- and Milk

So here's the Slip Two Slouch. I have sat on the fence on this one--while slipping stitches in a frenzy, not really caring whether or not it turned out--but now, looking at it, I kind of like it. There are a few mistakes in it, slipping two stitches is pretty much the easiest thing to do, but when you get on a roll like I do, sometimes you slip three or slip one and next thing you know, you've gone too far and because it was on the list named "This One Doesn't Matter if it Is Perfect or Not Because I Don't Plan on Making a Pattern for it," I didn't go too crazy fixing the little problems. I only fixed the big ones.

Truth be told, this idea started as a herringbone cowl--remember those? But then, I finished them and wrote them out in TWO gauges and had them tech edited and discovered, to my horror, that a very similar pattern existed and I couldn't distribute the pattern knowing something else existed that looked so much the same. So, being the crazy-honest person that I am I decided to turn the idea of a herringbone stitch cowl into a cap. But, the problem was, how do I do top-down crown shaping so that the swirl/herringbone transition doesn't look too abrupt?

Anyway, this Slip Two Slouch. The jury is still out. If I do release it, I will have to make it in another gauge too. Not everyone will enjoy slipping two to the tune of practically fingering weight for hours on end like I do.

BTW and a Giveaway: I have been honored, over the years, to make lots and lots of blog friends. One of them is Lisa Shobhana. We share ideas. I like her style. I think she's beautiful and a wonderful designer. Anyway, she is having a giveaway on her blog of her new sweater pattern, Milk (shown left). She is giving five free patterns away to people who leave a comment and correctly guess why she named the pattern "Milk." I haven't told her this yet, but I will give one pattern download of their choice to each of her winners as well.

I will coordinate with her and once she's contacted the winners, I will follow suit! Contest ends 11 PM EST on Thursday.

Slip Two. That is all I want to do.

Have you ever knit something simply because it intrigues you and not because of any other reason? Have you knit something that you just *know* won't turn out but you're so entertained by the thing and you just keep going on and on and on like some sort of crazy knitter?

(BTW: I have heard from a major authority on the subject that out of all the crafty types that knitters are pretty much the craziest. Not that I agree with that sentiment or anything--although there are days I can say that I do--I always find it amusing that people who think knitters, simply because they are knitters, are instantly "knitterly" and therefore there is no way that they could ever do anything bad, nasty, snarky, etc.--or, horrors, steal. What a lark. In my mind, people are people no matter what their hobbies happen to be. . . unless, of course, their hobby is making gin in a bathtub each night. And if that is the case and you know anyone who does, I'd like their phone number.)

But seriously. This hat. It's top-down. I just can't stop knitting it. I know it'll be a loser. It was a b*it*h to figure out those crown increases so they line up like that, and it's on DK weight yarn with a slip stitch pattern (slip two! that's all I want to do!) that eats up yarn like that Japanese dude eats those hot dogs. And if you haven't heard of that Japanese dude who can eat a lot of hot dogs real fast, just know that he's awfully fast and eats a LOT of them. Like my hat here. It's eating a lot of yarn, too, and although I want to get to the end of it and actually try to wear it, I don't mind knitting two and slipping two all the live long day.

Which brings me to this: I think the reason I like knitting this hat so much is that I am under no pressure whatsoever to "make it work." No one is paying me for it, it's not for sale, and it's just me, enjoying slipping stitches.

P.S. That little "nipple" action at the top of the hat will be cinched up last. I had to mention it because I know that is what is on your mind right about now. So, get your minds out of the gutter.